[xxxHolic][Fic] The Great Defeat
Mar. 1st, 2009 02:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
popkin16Inspired by a conversation with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
anyjen about where Doumeki keeps that egg, seeing as it needs to be "close by him". Pockets are an obvious choice, but I've never seen him with any and it's funnier this way.
xxxHolic
Title: The Great Defeat
Genre: CRACK, romance.
Pairing: Doumeki/Watanuki.
Rating: Safe For Work. I think.
Word Count: 759
Summary: Doumeki knows it's time.
Instinctively, Doumeki knew: it was time to put the egg to good use.
To his right stood the group of strangers. The tall one in black watched Doumeki closely, though the boy knew that if the dangerous man with the ugly sideburns in front of him so much as twitched, the man in black would notice. The blond next to him had a small smile curling his lips -- he looked dangerous, almost cruel, as he watched the man with the sideburns. The one Watanuki had called Syaoran was clutching the girl to him, his face dirty and cut. He looked nervous, worried, but made no move to leave the girl's side.
To his left, Watanuki flailed. It was his best flailing yet, his whole body shaking as the arms flung about, one moment making windmill motions, the next randomly waving. His feet danced upon the ground, and Doumeki idly thought that he'd make a good tap-dancer.
"HURRY UP YOU IDIOT THERE'S NO TIME--"
"Hn," Doumeki responded. If he wanted to keep his hearing, he'd better get to it. The tall teenager reached down and unbuttoned his pants. The sideburns-man raised an eyebrow, and to his right the young boy gasped and made an aborted movement to cover the girls eyes, despite her lack of consciousness. The blond's smile changed from bloodthirsty to amused, and he murmured, "Oh my." A vein popped in the dark man's forehead.
Doumeki took this in as he unzipped his pants, and calmly slid his hands inside. To his left, Watanuki made a choking noise. A quick glance his way showed Watanuki turning a funny shade of red. His mouth was open and his lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. His eyes were fixed on Doumeki's midsection. The tall boy rummaged around a bit, until his fingers brushed what he was searching for. It took another moment for him to grip it, the position of the item making it difficult for him to get a good grasp on.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS NO TIME TO BE GROPING YOURSELF!" Watanuki screeched, and Doumeki winced as it pierced his ears. The loud boy's shock hadn't lasted long. Doumeki pulled his hand out, his hand curled around the precious item, and held it up for all to see.
"IS THAT -- OH MY GOD, DID YOU JUST PULL AN EGG OUT OF YOUR PANTS?" Watanuki flailed harder, looking like he was attempting to dance while having a fit of some sort. It was really funny, and Doumeki couldn't keep from smiling a little.
"No."
"NO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO, I SAW YOU --"
"I pulled it from my underpants."
Silence met his calm words. Doumeki's blank expression did not change.
As everyone blinked at this unexpected and disturbing news, Doumeki palmed the egg and took careful aim. He pulled his arm back and swung forward, letting the egg loose. His natural athleticism came in handy once again as the egg sailed straight for his target. The egg flew through the air before slamming into Sideburn Man's crotch. He doubled-over, a gasp escaping from between his lips. Doumeki nodded, satisfied.
It was about then that Watanuki gathered his wits and began to flail again, just as hard as before. Bellowing, his eyes on Doumeki, the messy-haired youth didn't watch where he was heading and smacked Sideburn Man in the head with one waving hand. Though he had realized he'd hit someone, Watanuki couldn't stop as his momentum moved him right into the enemy's space and knocked him over. Sideburn Man's head knocked against the stone steps, an ugly sound that echoed throughout the room.
There was silence once again. Everyone watched in shock as Fei Wong Reed breathed his last.
It was over.
OMAKE:
"You don't carry an egg around in your pants, you idiot! You're lucky Sakura-chan was unconscious and Himawari-chan wasn't there, or I WOULD END YOU."
Doumeki made a noise, one suspiciously like 'hn'.
"Syaoran-kun probably thinks I'm hanging around with perverts!"
"Hn."
"Can't you say more than 'hn', for once? LISTEN TO ME, YOU DOLT. I can't have people going around thinking that I know people that would keep an egg in their...their...IT'S NOT DECENT."
Bored, going deaf, and ready for them to move on, Doumeki reached up and yanked Watanuki down into his lap. He brushed his lips against the bi-colored eyed boy's, and then did so again much more firmly when said boy showed no signs of moving. Several minutes later, they stopped for air, their chests heaving. Doumeki wanted to do that again. He wanted to kiss Watanuki again, and do some other stuff. He wanted....
"Inari sushi."
"YOU BIG PILE OF --"
THE (happy) END
I seem to be fond of writing crack. And I'm in a writing mood, so there might be more postings later on.
anyjen about where Doumeki keeps that egg, seeing as it needs to be "close by him". Pockets are an obvious choice, but I've never seen him with any and it's funnier this way.xxxHolic
Title: The Great Defeat
Genre: CRACK, romance.
Pairing: Doumeki/Watanuki.
Rating: Safe For Work. I think.
Word Count: 759
Summary: Doumeki knows it's time.
Instinctively, Doumeki knew: it was time to put the egg to good use.
To his right stood the group of strangers. The tall one in black watched Doumeki closely, though the boy knew that if the dangerous man with the ugly sideburns in front of him so much as twitched, the man in black would notice. The blond next to him had a small smile curling his lips -- he looked dangerous, almost cruel, as he watched the man with the sideburns. The one Watanuki had called Syaoran was clutching the girl to him, his face dirty and cut. He looked nervous, worried, but made no move to leave the girl's side.
To his left, Watanuki flailed. It was his best flailing yet, his whole body shaking as the arms flung about, one moment making windmill motions, the next randomly waving. His feet danced upon the ground, and Doumeki idly thought that he'd make a good tap-dancer.
"HURRY UP YOU IDIOT THERE'S NO TIME--"
"Hn," Doumeki responded. If he wanted to keep his hearing, he'd better get to it. The tall teenager reached down and unbuttoned his pants. The sideburns-man raised an eyebrow, and to his right the young boy gasped and made an aborted movement to cover the girls eyes, despite her lack of consciousness. The blond's smile changed from bloodthirsty to amused, and he murmured, "Oh my." A vein popped in the dark man's forehead.
Doumeki took this in as he unzipped his pants, and calmly slid his hands inside. To his left, Watanuki made a choking noise. A quick glance his way showed Watanuki turning a funny shade of red. His mouth was open and his lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. His eyes were fixed on Doumeki's midsection. The tall boy rummaged around a bit, until his fingers brushed what he was searching for. It took another moment for him to grip it, the position of the item making it difficult for him to get a good grasp on.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS NO TIME TO BE GROPING YOURSELF!" Watanuki screeched, and Doumeki winced as it pierced his ears. The loud boy's shock hadn't lasted long. Doumeki pulled his hand out, his hand curled around the precious item, and held it up for all to see.
"IS THAT -- OH MY GOD, DID YOU JUST PULL AN EGG OUT OF YOUR PANTS?" Watanuki flailed harder, looking like he was attempting to dance while having a fit of some sort. It was really funny, and Doumeki couldn't keep from smiling a little.
"No."
"NO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO, I SAW YOU --"
"I pulled it from my underpants."
Silence met his calm words. Doumeki's blank expression did not change.
As everyone blinked at this unexpected and disturbing news, Doumeki palmed the egg and took careful aim. He pulled his arm back and swung forward, letting the egg loose. His natural athleticism came in handy once again as the egg sailed straight for his target. The egg flew through the air before slamming into Sideburn Man's crotch. He doubled-over, a gasp escaping from between his lips. Doumeki nodded, satisfied.
It was about then that Watanuki gathered his wits and began to flail again, just as hard as before. Bellowing, his eyes on Doumeki, the messy-haired youth didn't watch where he was heading and smacked Sideburn Man in the head with one waving hand. Though he had realized he'd hit someone, Watanuki couldn't stop as his momentum moved him right into the enemy's space and knocked him over. Sideburn Man's head knocked against the stone steps, an ugly sound that echoed throughout the room.
There was silence once again. Everyone watched in shock as Fei Wong Reed breathed his last.
It was over.
OMAKE:
"You don't carry an egg around in your pants, you idiot! You're lucky Sakura-chan was unconscious and Himawari-chan wasn't there, or I WOULD END YOU."
Doumeki made a noise, one suspiciously like 'hn'.
"Syaoran-kun probably thinks I'm hanging around with perverts!"
"Hn."
"Can't you say more than 'hn', for once? LISTEN TO ME, YOU DOLT. I can't have people going around thinking that I know people that would keep an egg in their...their...IT'S NOT DECENT."
Bored, going deaf, and ready for them to move on, Doumeki reached up and yanked Watanuki down into his lap. He brushed his lips against the bi-colored eyed boy's, and then did so again much more firmly when said boy showed no signs of moving. Several minutes later, they stopped for air, their chests heaving. Doumeki wanted to do that again. He wanted to kiss Watanuki again, and do some other stuff. He wanted....
"Inari sushi."
"YOU BIG PILE OF --"
THE (happy) END
I seem to be fond of writing crack. And I'm in a writing mood, so there might be more postings later on.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:28 am (UTC)(because he just has to make things difficult for Doumeki)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:41 am (UTC)just like male!Doumeki will ruin him for womenDoumeki is resourceful, after all. ;D
(actually, there is a
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:45 am (UTC)(REALLY? Thank you for bringing that to my attention~!)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:55 am (UTC)here is a partial masterlist of her work (since I know how you love those)
http://sparklyfanta.livejournal.com/42822.html#cutid1
*scratches the back of her neck, pensive* You know, I can't find the female!Doumeki drabble right now, but I'm sure it's there... somewhere...
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:56 am (UTC)I do love masterlists XD You know me so well! Thanks for the link~
Ahh, it doesn't matter. When I find an author I like I raid their journal anyway, so I'll find it eventually. If you want me to link you to it, I can. *nodnod*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 07:06 am (UTC)well, after several months of fangirling together, you kind of start to notice certain patterns. ^__-
bear in mind that this masterlist doesn't include the latest drabbles and fic snippets (plus some friend-locked entries that are worth a read)... but I love her stuff. Be warned that she favours a lot of alternate pairings, though (but try to read one or two! I'm sure you'll like them! and they're short, anyway...)
Please, do! I've been meaning to re-read it for a while, but I can't seem to find it again...
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 07:08 am (UTC)True; and I'm sort of predictable, too. I'll certainly keep that in mind while reading through her masterlist -- she has a lot of tags, I'm sure I'll be able to find one that has some of her fics under them that wasn't on the list. (And I'll try that to -- sometimes I surprise myself with what I like, so. I might try the Yuuko/Wata/Dou...but I don't think I'll try the Himawari/Dou/Wata one. I read one once that made me angry...)
Will do :) But I've got to go to bed. Got school tomorrow~ Sleep well, when you sleep next!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 07:16 am (UTC)sleep well!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-04 02:10 am (UTC)I did XD
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 06:57 am (UTC)Johnny Depp is so fineno subject
Date: 2009-03-03 07:02 am (UTC)the thing is... I finally figured out how to raid the
http://op-fanforall.livejournal.com/1053.html?thread=2507293#t2507293
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 07:04 am (UTC)Oh, that was you?
I'm tracking
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 07:11 am (UTC)Wouldn't it?! wouldn't it?! *___*
Just picture it, Jack sensuously (and drunkenly) commenting on, or perhaps playing with, Zoro's earrings... he does have an appreciationg for jewelry, after all (it's like wearing his loot, for him).
*is in her happy place*
but I wouldn't mind some gen, as long as I got to see some Jack Sparrow/Strawhats interaction. That's bound to be hilarious. XD
no subject
Date: 2009-03-04 02:08 am (UTC)It would!!!!
Mmm, Jack playing with Zoro's earrings.
Like sucking on them. as;kas;k I seem to remember a Zoro/Sanji fic where Sanji does that. *Apparently has an earring fetish*Jack's such a character, I think he'd fit right in with the others. They're all a little off their rocker, though some more than most.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-04 06:26 am (UTC)I dare say Zoro might not be very impressed by the way Jack flees from most fights, but he does seem to have some skill with the sword once you corner him into fighting. Of course, it's likely that before long you will find yourself fighting somebody else altogether while he gets smaller in the distance, but still. XD
(Methinks he might be somebody Nami could enjoy having a chat with. Both seem to share the same opinion on "honorable retreats". XD)
But boy, I can sooo see Luffy trying to copy his way of talking, and wondering if he could grow a beard just so he could braid it like that. XD
Darn, I want to read that sooo bad... but nobody seems interested in picking up the gauntlet. *sighs*
and I really can't start on any new projects, with the amount of unfinished stuff I already have...
no subject
Date: 2009-03-04 10:27 pm (UTC)Once Jack was forced into fighting, I could just picture Zoro asking him why the hell he doesn't fight more often, if he knows his way about a sword. LOL Jack will be right beside Nami and Ussop. And Ussop will say, "We weren't retreating, we were advancing in the opposite direction!" And Jack will propose a celebration upon their successful fight against enemies.
HE WOULD, TOO. And Jack could entertain Ussop and Chopper (and Luffy too, probably) with tails of his fight against the undead.
I'd pick it up, but I really wouldn't do the fic any justice. And I'd probably just end up using idea's that we talked about in here.
Gah, I knooow. I have a wordpad list of fics I promised people, and I have two in-progress ZoSan fics, and I kind of want to write a PSoH fanfiction >.< But that's not important -- I'm eager to read your stuff, because you're an awesome writer.