rodney mckay [meta]

[popkin16]

I was talking to honeybearbee about Rodney. We were talking about fic where Rodney is insecure and surprised that John would want someone like him. After going into this long-winded spiel about how I relate to Rodney and other thoughts and feelings, I said this:


Rodney's confidence is in his intelligence. He isn't good with people, he knows he isn't. When Rodney boasts, it's about how smart he is. Rodney may occasionally say, "I am a handsome man," but it always seemed to me that it was more that Rodney was trying to convince himself and others that he is desirable.

I think it started in childhood - Rodney canonically says that his parents fought and blamed him. I imagine that means he wasn't shown a lot of love during his childhood. Especially when you consider his allergy to citrus (how inconvenient his parents must have found it, always needing to check the ingredients and so on). Plus, how difficult a child Rodney must have been. And then he grew up, and someone told him that he wasn't hot, wasn't sexy or desirable. And Rodney sort of took that to heart. "I may not be sexy, but at least I'm intelligent." So Rodney shoves his intelligence down people's throats, because he feels that his intelligence is his only redeeming feature. He's not likeable or good-looking, but he's smart and useful. People need his expertise.

It fits. When Rodney was dying in Tao of Rodney, he was surprised (and so pleased) when Elizabeth said, "We love you." His thoughts probably went something like: You love me? You love me even though I'm sarcastic and impatient, often dismissive. You love me, even though I blew up a solar system. You love me rude and petty and often terrified.

It's why episodes where people so clearly care for Rodney are my favorite. Grace Under Pressure, Tao of Rodney, The Shrine...it makes me feel good that Rodney has found people that love him, that humor him and roll their eyes, smack him upside his head and tease him. Rodney's a difficult person, but he has that unconditional acceptance - they don't want him to change. He's their grumpy, sarcastic Rodney. Anything else would be weird.

Comments

[popkin16]

Your thoughts on Jeannie are fascinating - I'd never really given her much thought, but she'd be just as shaped by her childhood as Rodney has, and if the parents treat Rodney in such a manner, they probably treated Jeannie the same. Quite a few fics mention that Rodney essentially took care of Jeannie as a child until he left for college - it would definitely explain why she was so upset when he turned his back on her after her decision about having a family. It might also explain why she's so hard on Rodney later. First he left her alone with their parents, which led to comments such as you listed. And then she's out from under them, only to have the only family she was close to turn away - when they had probably always had each other's backs as children.